Machine Gun Kelly opened up about his struggles with mental health. Image Source: Loudwire
Machine Gun Kelly opened up about his struggles with mental health.
Machine Gun Kelly, real name Colson Baker, recently released a new Hulu documentary titled 'Machine Gun Kelly's Life in Pink,' and details one night that took place in July 2020 which was followed by the death of his father and the first anniversary of the release of his Hotel Diablo album that led to him attempt suicide. Machine Gun Kelly recalls how his father's death exacerbated his battle with depression and substance abuse.
Machine Gun Kelly explained that after his father passed away he flew to his father’s apartment to clear all the stuff and had a really weird interaction with a neighbor who told him things that he did not want to hear. He said that listening to those things fucked him even more because he was not able to get any closure on it and he was thinking too much about it.
In the documentary, The Mainstream Sellout artist can be heard telling the crowd that when it became darker, he refused to leave his hotel room. He was left alone after Megan Fox traveled to Bulgaria to film a movie, which is when he began to have this irrational fear. Colson Baker revealed that at the time he was sleeping with a shotgun next to his bed because he was having obsessive thoughts that someone was going to murder him.
Further, into the documentary, Machine Gun Kelly shared that one night he just fucking snapped and called Megan Fox and told her that she was not here for him. Colson said that he was in his room freaking out about Megan Fox and that he put the shotgun in his mouth while ranting on the phone. He also claimed that the shotgun's shell stuck as he tried to cock the weapon and that Megan Fox was completely silent on the other end of the line.
Casie, the rapper's 12-year-old daughter, and his then-girlfriend, now fiancée, Megan Fox, both expressed concern for him. He said that they came at him simultaneously and said that they wanted to see it in his eyes, and mentioned that they did not want to talk to him through a veil anymore and wanted to see him as his father and a husband to be, and that was when he knew that he had to stop.
Colson Baker explained in his documentary that his near-death experience made him realize that he needed to stop his substance abuse for his now-fiancée Megan Fox and daughter Casie Colson Baker. He said that he needed to kick the drugs off for real this time, although it was not mentioned if when he tried to shoot himself, Machine Gun Kelly was under the influence or not.
Later, Machine Gun Kelly went ahead to praise Megan Fox, calling her his sun and saying that she had become someone he revolved around, giving him life and helping her grow. He added that it helps him to write the songs and explained that because it’s just like every fairy tale that the teachers never told the students in the school, the passion between them is just otherworldly, stating that he had known her in so many other lives.
Machine Gun Kelly has been open about his struggles with mental health in recent years, and in 2020, he revealed in an interview with Interview Magazine that he was seeking therapy and that his current drug of choice is happiness and his commitment to his art rather than the drugs or vice that he believed created the art. At the time, Machine Gun Kelly stated that during his therapy session, he was finally able to recognize that he needed to separate the two people, Colson Baker and Machine Gun Kelly, from each other because the dichotomy was too intense for him.
Machine Gun Kelly's Life in Pink documentary is now streaming on Hulu which is the film that offers a look behind the curtain of Machine Gun Kelly's road to fame and the personal and professional hurdles he's overcome along the way. Machine Gun Kelly, real name Colson Baker, is perhaps best known for his platinum-selling album, Tickets to My Downfall, and his most recent No. 1, Mainstream Sellout.
In his documentary, Machine Gun Kelly shared that 90% of his fans listen to him because of the pain they relate to in his lyrics, but the artist says that he feels that the world still hates him even though he has remained a polarizing figure in the media. The audience would hear his daughter Casie also share that people only see a side of him and say things about him, but that’s not him. Machine Gun Kelly also shared that his father, who passed away in 2020, said that he loved him and apologized to Kelly for how they lived this life together and said that they would do better in the next one.
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK if you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts (8255).
