Mena Suvari is recalling her sexual abuse. Image Source: Complex
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE
Mena Suvari is recalling her sexual abuse.
During a recent interview with The Guardian, actress Mena Suvari opened up about the time in her life when she was manipulated into having ‘threesomes’ by her then partner a lightning engineer and shared that she ran into one of the women who was involved with her in the threesome many years later and how having a conversation with her was an eye-opener for her. She also recalled being sexually abused by the men in her life.
Mena shared that she was raped at the age of 12 and explained that one of her brother’s friends paid her a lot of attention, wrote love letters to her, encouraged her into sexual activity, and then raped her several times at his house. The friend told other people at school that she was a ‘whore’ and the actress recalled that it made her feel ashamed to a level that she denied that it had happened. Mena shared that it sucked the life out of her and she just thought that no one is going to save her. When she was treated for bladder infection as a result of the rapes, the doctor put her on contraception instead of asking her about what was happening to her.
Recalling her modeling days, the actress shared that she felt used because a 20-something photographer clicked her nude pictures when they were alone at his house, and a business adviser who was in his 30s started to have sex with her when she was barely 16 years old and she mentioned that no one told her that it was wrong of that person to be doing such things with her. Soon after her mother left, Mena Suvari was taking care of her father and doing drugs at the same time and stated that she was desperate and felt completely helpless and hopeless.
Mena Suvari mentioned that she said to the woman that she never wanted to do any of those things, to which the woman replied by telling her that she was surprised since her ex had mentioned to her that Mena Suvari wanted to have a threesome, which came as a huge shock and eye opener to the actress, as she realized that she was being manipulated by him at the time and she had no idea. The actress said that the circumstances had been created for her and she was just swallowing it up.
The actress clarified that she does not want to sound negative or as if she is judging those who have participated in threesomes of their choice, but that she was not given a choice or permission to do so, and that while it may be healthy for many people, it proved to be destructive for her. Mena added that it was a weird thing for an individual when they experience sexual abuse because part of it is satisfying but the other is an absolute nightmare, so the individuals are confused and cannot tell what is right or what is wrong.
Mena added that that aspect still weighs on her since she never really got the chance to discover herself sexually and mentioned that all of that was lost for her. She starred as Angela in American Beauty, and that role brought her acclaim and a BAFTA nomination, and talking about that, Mena said that it was a beautiful experience, being allowed to work and impress herself right when she needed to be saved. The actress stated that she often felt she was living a double life, "functioning on the outside and on the inside, desperately trying to heal." The actress describes the abusive relationship in her book as awful and gruesome, including being forced to use uncomfortable sex gadgets and needing medical attention after having hard anal intercourse repeatedly.
Mena Suvari, who is now married to Michael Hope, and the pair have a 15-month-old son, Christopher, did not name her ex, but she had a series of public relationships before her marriage with Michael Hope in 2018. Mena was previously married to cinematographer Robert Brinkmann in 2000, but their relationship did not work and they parted ways in 2005. The actress was then linked up with Simone Sestito, who is a concert promoter, and they married in 2010, but separated just a year later.
Mena Suvari, in her memoir, "The Great Peace," which came out in 2021, mentioned that she was not being loved but it was just her body that was being desired by her partner at the time. The actress, in her interview with The Guardian, said that talking about the time has been bittersweet for her because it felt beautiful to be seen and heard, but it was heartbreaking to hear that others had identified similarly. Talking about her memoir, the actress said that she always hoped that the book would be able to help create some kind of change and initiate further conversation.
The actress further mentioned that when her memoir was coming out, she was dealing with postnatal depression and writing helped her to heal as she felt the need to express herself, need to purge all of it down to move on. She wanted to let go of the memories. After the memoir came out, Mena Suvari shared that a lot of people reached out to her, sent her DMs sharing their own experiences of sexual abuse, and thanked her for writing it down.
Despite how difficult it was, writing the book was cathartic to Mena as she describes that she thinks the greatest issue for her was that she always found a justification for it, so she never felt like she was allowed to think of a lot of these situations as abuse or trauma. The actress added that it is a crucial component of surviving; she had to figure out how many things helped her back then but no longer does so, although she has had counseling throughout the years, she claims it is still a daily fight and believes that things only change your perspective on them, giving you greater patience with yourself and compassion.
Call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 if you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual assault for confidential support. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for free, confidential help if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.
