Zachary Levi talks about his mental health. Image Source: People
Zachary Levi talks about his mental health.
During an interview with Elizabeth Vargas for her Heart of the Matter podcast for Partnership to End Addiction, actor Zachary Levi got candid about his mental health struggles and how he asked for professional help after he had a mental breakdown.
Zachary said that he had struggled with anxiety, depression, and low self-worth for most of his life and he did not realize it until he was 37 years old and he had a complete mental breakdown. The actor and author told Elizabeth that he grew up in a household where his stepfather was a perfectionist and his mother had a borderline personality. He further explained that if his mother was in a bad mood, it was the end of the world, and he added that he was an embarrassment to the family and said that there was a lot of yelling and vitriol.
Zachary Levi shared that as he got older, he turned towards substances to hide from his issues at hand and explained that he was running to a lot of other things, including sex, drugs, alcohol, or things that would distract him because he wanted to numb himself from the pain he had felt all his life. Zachary said that the irony is that the booze could give one temporary relief, but the next day it amplifies the anxiety tenfold, and then eventually the individual is running back to get more alcohol, and then it turns out to be a vicious cycle.
The actor said that he still has some negative thoughts about his career and that is why he thought moving to Austin, Texas, and starting a movie studio would give him a purpose. He explained that his career was in a place where he felt like even though he had accomplished so much up to that point, he still had some negative thoughts about it and added that he feels like he is a bit on the outside looking in. Zachary shared that he was bullied as a kid for being nerdy and that’s one of the reasons why he always felt that he could never be a part of a cool kid group. That carried on within him when he started his career in Hollywood and said that it gets reaffirmed in the lies that he told to himself when he was not able to get a certain job or was being hired to do a movie or a show with a certain director or producer or actor.
The actor further got candid about his panic attack, which eventually led him to seek professional help, and he explained that he drove around, probably for 10 minutes, not knowing what to eat because he was not sure which place was the right place to eat. He shared with Elizabeth that he was sitting in his truck and he remembered that he was holding onto the wheel and was just shaking back and forth, almost trying to shake himself out of what was going on, and he was just weeping and crying, asking God to help him.
Zachary Levi said that he had thoughts of ending his life and that’s when he checked himself into an emergency room because of the constant suicidal thoughts. He added that it was not the first time he had thought of ending himself or that his thoughts had been in a dark place before, but at the time, he said he thought he made the right choice to seek help. He said that he realized that he made the right choice to move to Austin, but added that he did not do it the right way because he was running away from so many things. When he moved, he had nobody in his support system, so he was out there in a whole wide city all by himself and the darkness around him. Zachary said that he could hear lies and failures whispering in his ears and that he was not going to make it out of it. He said one of his friends suggested that he should seek treatment, so he entered into three weeks of "intensive life-changing, life-saving therapy."
Zachary Levi said that people including Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, and Kate Spade who died of suicide affected him a lot, and he said that Robin Williams was his hero and his talent, his heart, the way he loved people, the homeless, and the way he cared about them. He was a truly deep empathetic person who cared about other human beings and yet was so tortured in his mind. The actor added that he thinks maybe that is why he partly feels so obligated to bring joy to the world.
Zachary said that Robin Williams' death rocked him because he felt like if a person like Robin Williams could not make it, he did not know how he was going to ultimately go to continue to navigate through his life unless he could somehow figure out how to not keep falling into these places of depression and anxiety.
During the interview, Levi said that he is still working through his difficulties and stated that prayer and meditation have been very helpful to him and are now an important part of his day. The actor said, sometimes he prays via meditation, and other times he just sits and lets God have whatever that moment is. He claimed that he is primarily simply passing the time and that, at least for him, taking control of his thoughts is among the most crucial things.
Zachary said that although human brains are quite strong, they may be hijacked very quickly if individuals don't take the necessary precautions. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm doing it once more. I'm once again talking negatively about myself. I'm starting to judge or criticize myself harshly. I'm beginning to evaluate where I am in life. He added that if humans can control that, they could do wonders.
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK if you or someone you know needs assistance (8255).
